REGAINING EMOTIONAL CONTROL OVER OUR LIVES
There is a new "normal." "Normal" as we knew it, no longer exists, nor can it again. There are moments in life when we all know we can no longer turn back. We waste time debating why; unfortunately that is truly the way life is.
How then do we regain a sense of normalcy and even optimism in the midst of this paradigm shift? First by realizing we were never much safer than we are today. Perhaps we are even more safe today because of our heightened awareness and healthy suspicion. Where the shock comes from is the illusion that we were safer before, and that somehow we lost that. The problem with that idea is that it is pure delusion. The circumstances of the world have not changed in the past two months. What has changed is our awareness of the inherent dangers around a society, which allows great freedom, but keeps no guards at the door. And so we feel that something very valuable has been stolen from us. I must agree that something has been stolen, but I am not necessarily in agreement that it was valuable. Naivete is adorable in a five-year-old, but it is lethal in an adult. And this is ultimately what has been stolen from us as a people.
How then can we better manage our emotions, reduce and manage our stress level and discard the unwanted negative psychic energy engendered by fear. How can we learn to cleanse our minds and bodies of that debilitating reaction to perceived danger?
We can combat and defeat fear with simple but highly effective tools. First and foremost, we can learn to meditate. This allows for an instant block on obsessive thoughts, replacing them with serenity, turning words to images that comfort us in our most private heart. This minute pause in our daily agenda allows us to refocus, breathe, relax and draw our attention back to what matters to us most profoundly.
Secondly, we can begin to keep a journal and write down, ferret out, the "faulty cognitions," those unrealistic assumptions our thoughts are built upon which eventually become the source of unrealistic expectations which we use to torture ourselves with. Then we can begin to rebuild our thinking based on realistic expectations of others and ourselves and in this way, reduce our level of anxiety by reducing our expectations. We might even get to notice the world as it is, rather than as we insist it is. It really isn't all that bad. Take a good look the next time you take a walk.
Which comes to my next idea: Take a walk! Notice the world around you, it's there to teach you and soothe you, take it all in. And visit whatever religious institution gives you comfort too. Make this holiday season different, a good different. Spend time reconnecting with your good memories, good friends and family, the parts of yourself you have abandoned, your hobbies, whatever gives you joy. Let the fears go. They help nothing. Just remain reasonably aware and practice what you love and your new "normal" will become a way of life.
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